By Michelle Collins

Before settling into this soon-to-be holiday classic of a story, I feel the need to share a few things about myself so that some of the details make sense. Beginning with:

I am Jewish. Now if you’re wondering what Irish county us Collins Jews lived in, the answer is the one in Eastern Europe where all the other Jews lived. My immediate family changed our last name to Collins when I was a little girl, after years of people spelling and pronouncing our given name incorrectly. And by people, I specifically mean the hostesses at our local trattoria, T.G.I. Friday’s.

My parents chose Collins after the famous Collins Avenue in Miami Beach, the city where I was born and raised. This truth conflicts with the common misconception that my birth father was actually famed funk bassist and notable hat enthusiast Bootsy Collins.